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How To Make My Cat Love Me More

Loving your cat and having them love you back is the best feeling a cat owner can experience. From the moment you adopt your cat and bring them home the thought of the many memories you’ll make with your furry friend comes to mind.

Feeling excited to build a relationship with your new kitty is expected, however, it doesn’t happen overnight. Cats are skeptical creatures and are always on high alert, gaining their trust isn’t always easy.

When I first got my cat, I had to put in a lot of work to get to where I am now with him. So, how does one do it? How do you make your cat love you more?

A first-time cat owner may be wondering, how can I make my cat love me more? By following some helpful tips and gaining your cat’s trust, you will be able to build a meaningful bond with them!

How To Make My Cat Love Me More

Before I got my cat, I didn’t know a lot about them. I thought I would get a cat, bond with him or her, put them on my lap when I watched tv, and take them out for walks.

As you can see, I was pretty delusional when it came to how it all worked. Cats aren’t like dogs and they don’t do things by command.

You can’t make them sit on your lap and purr if they don’t want to. For your cat to show affection, you need to build a foundation with them.

You can’t force a cat to love you and that’s good because then you’ll know when your cat truly loves you! Well, how does it work then?

How can you “build a relationship” with a cat? The good news is there are some tips you can use to get your cat to love you, or love you more! 

Respect Boundaries

They say that trust is the most important thing in a relationship, and that’s true even with cats! Before your cat can love you, they need to be able to trust you. They can’t love someone that they are scared or unsure of.

If you just adopted a kitty you need to go slowly and be patient so that they know that you mean no harm. If you already have a cat and it seems that they are scared of you, go slowly and reassess your actions with your cat.

Are you doing things that are scaring your cat? Cats can be scared of the strangest things.

Believe it or not, I had a shirt that my cat was scared of and wouldn’t come near me when I wore it. So being aware of what you are doing is essential.

If you are continually smothering your cat and not giving them space when they need it, they may be wary of you. Being able to respect your cat’s boundaries will help greatly in getting your cat to trust and love you. Knowing when to stop and leave your cat is critical in a cat/owner relationship.

No Punishments!

Punishing your cat by yelling at them or hitting them will cause lots of damage and make your cat fear you rather than love you! There are ways to go about getting your cat to stop unwanted behavior but if you resort to punishments, your cat will remember that.

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It is never a good idea to hit your cat. No matter how angry you might be, it’s smart to keep in mind that cats aren’t doing things to make us mad. Punishing your cat will cause them to run from you and make it harder for you to gain back their trust!

Treats, Treats, Treats!

One way to warm your way into your cat’s heart is by using the help of treats! Getting your cat a variety of treats to see which one they like best is a great tip.

By giving them their favorite treat, you will definitely be in their good graces. Using treats to reward your cat when they are being good is a great way to ensure they repeat their good behavior! You will be shocked to see how far a treat or two can go.

Keep Things Clean

Cats are super clean creatures. That’s why they spend so much of their day grooming themselves. They like to be clean and they like for their things to be clean as well.

Cats are super clean creatures

By keeping your cat’s environment clean you can keep them happy. This means a clean litter box, bedding, and toys. Every time I clean, my cat comes out of his hiding spot and rolls on a freshly vacuumed floor, so I can personally vouch for this method.

Pet Your Feline Friend!

Petting your cat will show him and her that you care for them. Something to remember is the places that cats like to touch and where they don’t.

Cats don’t like for their stomachs, tail, or paws to be touched. However, the head is a good place for scratching and pets.

The top of the head, ears, cheeks, chin are all great places to give your cat a scratch. You can tell that your cat is enjoying their scratch when they close their eyes.

While cats love a good pet, be careful not to overdo it. If your cat is fidgeting or swinging their tail, it means that they’ve had enough. 

Quality Time

It’s kind of hard for a cat to bond with you if you aren’t around! A big part of bonding with a cat is being there with them.

Allowing your cat to familiarize themself with you will help them to start to trust you. After that, the bonding can start to grow!

Spending time with your cat every day will help him or her not to feel alone and they will start to enjoy the company. Just talking to your cat while doing your everyday chores or sitting by your cat is quality time! The more time you spend with your cat, the more they will start to love you!

Play With Your Cat

Just like quality time, playing with your cat increases the bond you two share. Find your cat’s favorite toy and play with them every day to keep them happy and healthy!

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Cats really enjoy toys that sharpen their hunting skills. A great toy that helps with that is the feather toys that resemble birds.

They are attached to a stick by some string and when you swing it around, it looks like a bird. Other toys like toy mice, balls, and laser pointers are great toys and they give cats lots of entertainment!

Tell Them You Love Them

If you can learn a little bit of cat language, you can tell your cat that you love them yourself! Cats communicate in different ways, one of those ways is through the eyes.

Blinking slowly and softly at your cat will show them that you love them. If your cat reciprocates this, it means that they love you too! Give it a try and you might be surprised with the outcome!

Care For Your Cat

Okay, this may sound obvious but it’s one of the ways your cat will feel loved. By feeding your cat good, nutritious foods, they will feel that you care for them.

As well as giving them toys, snacks, bedding, etc. Your cat will start to look at you as their mother figure because you are the one that provides for their needs. They will start to feel loved and reciprocate that love to you! Sounds simple, but it works wonders!

Talk Gently

Cats are very intelligent creatures and can sense your tone. That’s why yelling at your cat when you’re angry is a bad idea.

If you speak nice and gentle to your cat like you are happy with them, they will sense that you’re happy. It could be that you’re talking too loud and your cat misinterprets it as yelling, so be aware of the way you speak to your cat to make them feel comfortable and loved.

Groom Your Cat!

Groom Your Cat

More specifically, brush your cat! Cats love to be groomed, that’s why they spend a big portion of their day just cleaning themselves.

Lots of cats love to be brushed. It massages them and keeps their skin and fur healthy! Grooming your cat increases your bond because of its intimate nature.

As kittens, cats are groomed by their mother. Grooming your cat will once again make them view you as a mother figure.

Brushing your cat’s fur removes loose fur, therefore, reducing the likeliness of a hairball. A win for you and your cat! 


Cats are lovely pets that have so much to offer. However, it’s not always easy to earn a cat’s love.

The first step in getting your cat to love you more is earning their trust. Cats can be picky about who they choose to trust, so patience is key.

There are some tips you can take to ensure your cat starts to love you more! Remember for cats to love you, they need to feel loved first! So be aware of how you are treating your cat if you want them to show love!